The ultimate test of zen

If you’re like me, it’s a constant struggle to achieve greater equanimity – removing some of the emotional highs and lows for a state of joyful dispassion. You know, Buddha. Enlightenment. All that jazz. As I was walking into the NYC subway system, I realized the ultimate test of a person’s Zen state:

Have you ever walked down the stairs into a subway system and seen a train with doors open? It doesn’t matter if you are in any rush, how frequent the trains are, or even if that’s your train necessarily…the reaction is universal: your heart starts racing, you start running in the hopes of making that train. I think if there were an old lady standing between me and the train, more often than not, I’d bowl her over without thinking twice. (I can neither confirm nor deny if this has ever happened.)

In my mind, afterwards, whether I make the train or not, I think about how useless the state of panic is. The next train would come soon after and often times, I’m in no specific rush. Yet, in the moment, it’s impossible to have that moment of rationality.

Now, I’m on the lookout for those rare breeds – the people that see a train with open doors and continue approaching at the same pace, unaffected whether they’ll make this train or the next. I don’t know if these people exist or they are mythical figures…but I’m now searching for someone who can pass this ultimate test of zen.