Instead of suppressing jealousy, try to examine it instead

Jealousy is a powerful feeling. The rise of social media can accentuate this feeling by seeing pictures and posts of everyone and everything that reflects their success, happiness and insane amounts of fun.

We always hear about how unproductive jealousy is and we should work to avoid the feeling, but I think it’s inevitable. On the other hand, I think reflecting more deeply on your jealousy can actually yield real metacognitive insights – or, more plainly, you can learn important things about yourself.

When I look at Facebook or Instagram and feel the pangs of jealousy, I now reflect on that feeling and chew on it for a bit: Is it fleeting or lasting? If it’s fleeting, it’s more likely jealousy’s more innocuous and widespread cousin, the fear of missing out (FOMO). If it’s lasting, on the other hand, think about what other types of situations bring up a similar jealousy. For example, think about if you are jealous of the person or the specific situation – dive deep into understanding the roots of your jealousy.

I think that deeper reflection can tell you a lot about your priorities in life and what you truly desire. For me, I found that pictures of people at parties generated no deep jealousy but just some mild FOMO. Pictures of kids’ sporting events, on the other hand, definitely creates jealousy. Participating in sports leagues = jealous. Being at great sporting events = not so much. Travel to nature = jealous. Travel to cities = not so much. I know my work life is going well because very little on LinkedIn these days inspires much envy, which definitely didn’t use to be the case.

In any case, I’ve been able to figure out what’s most important to me by trying to delve deeper into my jealous inclinations instead of trying to suppress them. If my introspection makes you a little jealous, try it yourself to see if it works for you!